By: Danica Kombol

I’m often asked to speak at conferences and managing my speaking engagements while running a business is a constant juggling act. Lately I’ve been trying to “just say no” to speaking gigs and focus on Everywhere, but when Denise Quashie asked me to speak at BarkWorld, she had me at “woof.” I think I was drawn to the spectacle of being at a conference with hoards of people who blog and tweet as their pet. I made a lot of bad jokes about barking and set out to build my slides.

Denise asked me to talk about a topic I am often asked to speak on: “How to Make the Most of a Blogger to Brand Relationship.” The night before my panel, I attended a speed-dating session where brands and agencies like mine get to meet bloggers in ten-minute scheduled “dates.” I did the regular schmoozing and trading of business cards and then every ten minutes the coordinator would blow the whistle, signaling another date. Suddenly my table was empty and dateless and I stared at my iPhone until a woman tentatively approached. “I can’t find my date. Can I sit here?”

My date was Ann from Tucson and she chatted about her second career as a painter of pets. I nodded distractedly until Ann said her real passion was communicating with animals both living and passed away. I don’t know if she saw the pained look on my face, but I suddenly realized why I was at BarkWorld and why I so eagerly agreed to speak to Denise. I lost my own beloved pooch, Ali, last July and still swallow hard every time I pull into my driveway knowing that her happy little face will not be there to greet me. Sometimes I wander around the house, looking for something. “What was I looking for?” And I think of Ali. Ann stopped talking and leaned in. “Your pet is fine. She’s waiting for you. She’s on the other side and she feels loved. She’s with an older woman – a grandmother perhaps?” Yes, Ann, I want to say, my mother also passed away – over a year ago.

That night as I prepared to give my talk on my panel, I added a slide. In it I included photos of Ali…some of my favorites. Ali in the grass, Ali being squeezed by my three children, Ali looking plaintively at me as if to say, “Don’t you have a treat?” The next day as my time came to speak, I thought about trying to flip over the slide of Ali photos before anyone saw it. Could I share these photos without my voice cracking?

Indeed, I had to. For what I wanted to tell the bloggers in the room is that blogger–brand relationships are just that: relationships. It’s building personal ties and building trust. It’s not just about sponsorship and dollars, it’s about getting to know one another and understanding each other’s goals. I’ve never believed the old adage, “it’s only business.” I’ve always believed that we build successful professional relationships the same way we build successful personal relationships – by getting to know people. So I said to BarkWorld attendees, 2012, “Hello, I’m Danica and this is my beloved pooch Ali. You want to work with me and the brands I represent? Get to know me and I’ll get to know you.”

Note: Ann, the animal communicator can be found at RosezellasWay.com